OK, says I (and Kerry), I must get fit. I must lose this layer of protective body cushioning that I'm starting to develop as low season, and a desk job, takes its toll. And maybe the discovery of cheap wine and Beer Lao has assisted in this too. And the Green Man. So what to do? I hate exercise, it bores me. But my chair at work is starting to physically grip me, so standing up is getting harder. It's a vicious cycle!!
So maybe yoga is the answer? It seems perfect, it really does. You read the brochures and it seems to be so simple...you go to a gym, sit around for a while doing some light bending and stretching, smile broadly at your fellow yoga'ists, and lo and behold you have a very trim and very bendy body. I was sold on the idea so after some research, which was really done by Kerry as my chair was really starting to grip me in front of the TV, a gym was found, arrangements were made and away we went.
Let me tell you now, the brochures are wrong!!! Yes you do some sitting, but that is the only part of the advertising that tells the truth. For a whole hour, without moving my feet more than 3 feet from where they started, I was forced into positions that I have never been in before. At one point I swear I have never been happier to have been wearing clothes, because if I wasn't I could have seriously offended my own sensibilities!! After only 5 minutes I was sweating like a one armed Arab with a stolen orange in my pocket. And this didn't stop for 25 minutes, and that was only because I was drier than a box of Bran Flakes. And I definitely wasn't smiling!!
But I was keeping up. I was breathing like a Grand National winning horse, and though keeping the in out rythmn of the instructor was surprisingly difficult for someone who has been breathing for 35 years, I was keeping up. OK, so my knees weren't always straight, and I can't touch my toes with straight legs (and haven't been able to since 1998), but maybe I was going to survive!! But no, just as things were looking up I was asked to stand on one leg, hold my left toe in my left hand and pull it out in front of me......and then to the side. I cannot do this. In fact, I cannot do this so well that another student fell over laughing and the instructor had to hold me up as I was shaking, as Peter Kaye would say, like a shitting dog. But I have no shame and carried bravely on to the end of the session.
I left feeling good, if absolutely knackered!! In fact, so tired that I still can't figure out how I got to be in such state by simply standing, bending, sitting, lying down, and standing on one leg. But the question is, is it any good? Well right now it's hard to say. I'm still stuck in my chair, which you might think was understandable after only one session, but it is less about the handles and more about the fact that I feel as though my hips have been operated on while I was in bed last night. Although the handles are still not helping.
The jury is out, and I'll keep you informed. For now, I'm going home for a cheap red and the Tour de France. I can really feel for those boys now......
So maybe yoga is the answer? It seems perfect, it really does. You read the brochures and it seems to be so simple...you go to a gym, sit around for a while doing some light bending and stretching, smile broadly at your fellow yoga'ists, and lo and behold you have a very trim and very bendy body. I was sold on the idea so after some research, which was really done by Kerry as my chair was really starting to grip me in front of the TV, a gym was found, arrangements were made and away we went.
Let me tell you now, the brochures are wrong!!! Yes you do some sitting, but that is the only part of the advertising that tells the truth. For a whole hour, without moving my feet more than 3 feet from where they started, I was forced into positions that I have never been in before. At one point I swear I have never been happier to have been wearing clothes, because if I wasn't I could have seriously offended my own sensibilities!! After only 5 minutes I was sweating like a one armed Arab with a stolen orange in my pocket. And this didn't stop for 25 minutes, and that was only because I was drier than a box of Bran Flakes. And I definitely wasn't smiling!!
But I was keeping up. I was breathing like a Grand National winning horse, and though keeping the in out rythmn of the instructor was surprisingly difficult for someone who has been breathing for 35 years, I was keeping up. OK, so my knees weren't always straight, and I can't touch my toes with straight legs (and haven't been able to since 1998), but maybe I was going to survive!! But no, just as things were looking up I was asked to stand on one leg, hold my left toe in my left hand and pull it out in front of me......and then to the side. I cannot do this. In fact, I cannot do this so well that another student fell over laughing and the instructor had to hold me up as I was shaking, as Peter Kaye would say, like a shitting dog. But I have no shame and carried bravely on to the end of the session.
I left feeling good, if absolutely knackered!! In fact, so tired that I still can't figure out how I got to be in such state by simply standing, bending, sitting, lying down, and standing on one leg. But the question is, is it any good? Well right now it's hard to say. I'm still stuck in my chair, which you might think was understandable after only one session, but it is less about the handles and more about the fact that I feel as though my hips have been operated on while I was in bed last night. Although the handles are still not helping.
The jury is out, and I'll keep you informed. For now, I'm going home for a cheap red and the Tour de France. I can really feel for those boys now......
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