The Footy Season Approacheth

So we're nearly there. The beginning of the football season. And to stop anyone from outside Europe getting football confused with lesser sports, we are talking about football. Proper football. The one you play by kicking the ball around with your foot. Not the one where you dress like you're about to get mown down by an articulated lorry and stop every eight seconds for a rest, and certainly not the one where you wear unfeasibly tight shorts, feel all your friends up and have a choice of goals depending how lucky you feel. Football.

Four and a half hours after writing this, the Coca Cola League One (possibly the finest league in the world....ahem) season will be kicking of again. Which means that the finest team in the world (aside from a minor accounting error or two) will be in action. With a 12:00 kick off against Scunthorpe it all begins again. And for one I will be happy to be in Thailand. Now don't get me wrong, I love my team and will be cheering them on whenever possible, although for some reason League One is not shown in Thailand, but it makes me want to cry. When I came to Thailand Leeds were a Premiership side who were just struggling a bit after some rather suspect gambling with the company's accounts had failed to pay off. And now we're in the 3rd league in the country. And to add insult to injury we were kept there artificially last season after being punished for the same crime twice. But now it changes. Leeds for promotion. Mark my words!

There is also another important league starting the following weekend. That's right, the premiership fantasy football league. Mikky's Boys are in there and will be making a bid for glory, even though making substitutes and transfers will be impossible due to living on a boat through most of the season. And I suspect this will be a far messier affair than the one at Elland Road last season.

Yoga - a good idea?

OK, says I (and Kerry), I must get fit. I must lose this layer of protective body cushioning that I'm starting to develop as low season, and a desk job, takes its toll. And maybe the discovery of cheap wine and Beer Lao has assisted in this too. And the Green Man. So what to do? I hate exercise, it bores me. But my chair at work is starting to physically grip me, so standing up is getting harder. It's a vicious cycle!!

So maybe yoga is the answer? It seems perfect, it really does. You read the brochures and it seems to be so simple...you go to a gym, sit around for a while doing some light bending and stretching, smile broadly at your fellow yoga'ists, and lo and behold you have a very trim and very bendy body. I was sold on the idea so after some research, which was really done by Kerry as my chair was really starting to grip me in front of the TV, a gym was found, arrangements were made and away we went.

Let me tell you now, the brochures are wrong!!! Yes you do some sitting, but that is the only part of the advertising that tells the truth. For a whole hour, without moving my feet more than 3 feet from where they started, I was forced into positions that I have never been in before. At one point I swear I have never been happier to have been wearing clothes, because if I wasn't I could have seriously offended my own sensibilities!! After only 5 minutes I was sweating like a one armed Arab with a stolen orange in my pocket. And this didn't stop for 25 minutes, and that was only because I was drier than a box of Bran Flakes. And I definitely wasn't smiling!!

But I was keeping up. I was breathing like a Grand National winning horse, and though keeping the in out rythmn of the instructor was surprisingly difficult for someone who has been breathing for 35 years, I was keeping up. OK, so my knees weren't always straight, and I can't touch my toes with straight legs (and haven't been able to since 1998), but maybe I was going to survive!! But no, just as things were looking up I was asked to stand on one leg, hold my left toe in my left hand and pull it out in front of me......and then to the side. I cannot do this. In fact, I cannot do this so well that another student fell over laughing and the instructor had to hold me up as I was shaking, as Peter Kaye would say, like a shitting dog. But I have no shame and carried bravely on to the end of the session.

I left feeling good, if absolutely knackered!! In fact, so tired that I still can't figure out how I got to be in such state by simply standing, bending, sitting, lying down, and standing on one leg. But the question is, is it any good? Well right now it's hard to say. I'm still stuck in my chair, which you might think was understandable after only one session, but it is less about the handles and more about the fact that I feel as though my hips have been operated on while I was in bed last night. Although the handles are still not helping.

The jury is out, and I'll keep you informed. For now, I'm going home for a cheap red and the Tour de France. I can really feel for those boys now......

2008 Update. Part 1.

Right, I’m trying. So a more detailed update.

I really can’t face telling you everything about the job for the last couple of years, so I’ll tell you how I got here. If you’ve read the stuff below then you’ll know I was working for Calypso Divers in Kata. After almost 2 years of tour leading the lovely Greta I felt it was time to move onwards and upwards, and a great opportunity presented itself to tour lead aboard Colona VI, owned by Colona Liveaboards in Chalong. I was planning two seasons there, at least, as I was really enjoying the job, the diving, and the company, but in August of 2007 an even better opportunity presented itself….

Aquamarine Dive Center in Chalong were looking for 2 people to run their 5* liveaboard MV Philkade. The combination of an awesome boat, the chance to work with Kerry, upping our reputations, and more varied diving was too much. So in a nutshell……we applied, we interviewed, we had new jobs. After a season on the boat and now a low season where we’re working everyday preparing for next season as well as the expansion for the company towards both day tripping and being a ‘complete dive centre’ rather than simply a liveaboard company you could say it was good move!! Yes you could!! And the way things look here is very exciting…could this be something more long term with some kind of career ladder? Watch this space…

The icing on the cake though is the coming season. We announced a trip to the Andaman Islands and have now had to extend it to two trips as a full charter has already confirmed. So next March it’s almost a month in the very very nearly middle of nowhere. And then June 2009 the boat will run low season Lombok to Komodo in Indonesia!! I’m very nearly wetting my pants just writing this.

So that’s where we are. Or at least where I am career-wise.

Coming soon…..home life? friends? family? Who knows…….or even cares.

Stay well people.

Mik.x

The wanderer returns

OK, so I've been gone for a while, figuratively speaking. I appreciate that and apologise profusely. In fairness though, most people I know will have been in touch with me via e-mail or facebook so it doesn't really matter. In fact, I'm not entirely sure who I'm writing this for. Is it therapy? Probably. Who knows?

So. Due to the two years or so of missing information I've decided to write and update you all, whoever you are. There may be several updates over a few weeks if that's what's required. But the question is where to start? New jobs, houses, children (not mine I ought to point out), friends leaving, new friends arriving, friends floating in the water for 19 hours, cyclones, missing cats. It's a long story, so you might want to make a cup of tea before you start reading....

I guess a quick rundown would be the best way to start and then I can do the rest another day, so here we go....

Career: I was working at Calypso as tour leader on Greta. I left there in September of 2006 to work as tour leader on the liveaboard Colona VI. A great time was had by all....well, by me at least! Stayed there for a year and then moved on to work as tour leader on another liveaboard, MV Philkade with Aquamarine divers. Why? An awesome boat that just didn't seem to have the reputation around Phuket that it seemed to deserve. I like a challenge. It gave me a chance to work with Kerry, my girlfriend. New areas to dive. All of those in no particular order.

Home Life: Was living in Kata with Kerry. Moved only a month or so ago to a fancy house in Chalong, still with Kerry. There were three cats as well, but due to some.....shall we say, 'forgetting to look after' incidents by house mates who were only given one task, we now have none. Although we know that one of them is still alive, he just moved out. And I don't blame him. Went to Spain to see my parents and even managed to fit some friends in. Parents came here to see me. Went to England with work and managed to see a little of the place and some old friends.

Friends: Many many people have left Phuket, and most of them I was sorry to say goodbye to. Though not all. Some people have arrived, and I even like a few of them. And still more have left, and then returned......though some returned and then left again. Confused? I know I am. A few have had babies with eachother; an interesting life style choice that remains completely alien to me. We will come back to all of these.

There you go then. A two minute update. Easy.

I'll be back.

Still alive....

And posting again soon.

Possibly.

Meet Brian...

And finally. He returns!!!

OK, so I'm a busy man and often enjoying my one and only day off takes precedence over coming into the office and letting (theoretically at least) the world know what is going on with me. And quite a lot has happened over the last few weeks I can tell you. But I'm not going to. Why? Because believe it or not we still haven't finished on the introductions, and we're not going to get any further with those either today.

"WHY!!?!?!?" I hear you shout, or at the very least murmur in an uninterested fashion. Well, I'll tell you a little story that will explain everything......

It's Saturday the 9th September. The time is 11:00am. The sea is flat and blue, belying the fact that we are in the middle of monsoon season here in Phuket. I'm returning from an overnight trip to Phi Phi with 2 other staff members and 8 customers. On checking the tide tables, I notice that there will be no current for the next dive and instead of diving on Shark Point (beautiful, if over dived by myself), I opt for the smaller, though no less impressive (and definitely under-dived by myself) Anemone Reef.

We jump into the blue and descend over the reef, moving from lovely 20m visibility at 15m down to the murky 7m visibility at 25m at the lower reaches of the reef.

"Bugger" says I too myself, thinking not unreasonably that I may have made a rather poor choice this morning. In fact, I could see in the customers eyes that the thought of large tips as a thanks for fantastic diving were not at the forefront of their minds (and how correct was I to be about this particular thought!!).

On leaving the murky depths in the hope that something could be salvaged from the dive, I looked out into the blue as something caught my eye. Something (in fact a few something's) quite sizeable were lurking of the reef. On closer inspection these appeared to be cobia. In fact on closer inspection, it became clear that they were actually a shoal of cobia. And what is it dear reader that these, relatively large fishy friends escort around the ocean?

That's right............

The Boss!! The largest fish in the ocean!! The fish who from here on in we shall call Brian!!

To inform those who are thus far lacking the knowledge and are at this moment in time thinking "what is this guy banging on about? It's a big fish for Christs sake!", let me educate you.

Brian is a whale shark (Rhincodon Typus for the geeks amongst you). In fact, Brian was an 8m whale shark. I think you'd agree friends, that that is a not inconsiderable fish. He was a curious little fellow, and we managed about 20 to 25 minutes of rather close (though I ought to point out non-touchy feely) interaction before the customers ran short of air, and in all honesty, Brian ran out of attention span. And that's what I came here to say.

Showing off really. And unashamadely at that!!

See you soon kids,

Mik.

ps. Brian will soon be registered with www.whalesharkproject.org , after which I'm sure that I'll discover Brian is actually Belinda. Please check out their website and help save these amazing creatures.

Cheers!

The job

Amazing, I made it back for a second time. So we'll start with learning about me shall we? Let's face facts, you're not here to learn about microphysics, or how to build a pipe bomb, or to ask why your love life is going down the pan are you!! And if you are, maybe you need to go back to Google and search again.

OK, so the job....

I work for a dive company in Phuket called Calypso ( http://www.calypsophuket.com ). The promo stuff says we offer PADI courses in all languages, and we can organise daytrips and liveaboards, whatever your time and budget constraints. And all this is true. And we are very good at it, I would recommend us to anyone, even if I didn't work here. But I have nothing to do with that. I work on a boat.

We have a day trip boat called Greta, and she's wonderful. In fact here she is....

21 metres long. Take up to 30 people and is just lovely. And what do I do aboard the lovely Greta? Well, I run her. Every day.

With a great Thai crew (Captain An, Engineer Ang, and boat boy Deen), I take her all around the local dive sites basically telling people what to do and how to do it. And it's great. In a little more detail, I set up the day trips in the office, collect all the dive folk from their hotels and get them to the boat. I then tell them the boat layout, and how to behave on a boat, help them set up gear, brief on the dives, point out fish and stuff on the dives, bring them all home again. In a nutshell.

I have perhaps one of the best jobs on the planet. Just amazing really.

It has its trials and tribulations, such as the low pay and ridiculous hours, but it's worth it for the fantastic diving. I can't really tell you much more initially without it sounding like an ad for the company, or looking like my CV. So I'll leave it there. Are you gripped yet? Are you!!!!

Well Hello

Good morning world. Welcome to me.

Just a quick start to this. As an intro for those who have accidentally stumbled here by clicking on the wrong link, or having lobster claws instead of hands, my name is Mik. I'm living in Phuket, Thailand and working as a diving instructor.

My reason for setting this thing up is that I'm officially the third worst person in the world for keeping up with friends/writing letters/responding to e-mails and so on. Just in case you wondered, I am some way behind Lord Lucan and Jimmy Hoffa.

And that's all you get for now. I will be back at some point, with more.

Possibly......